Contradictions
Jul. 21st, 2004 11:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lillibetPeople's images of themselves have always intrigued me. In college I knew a gorgeous woman who kept a crayon drawing over her desk of a skeletal figure with ballooning thighs and lightning bolts of hair radiating from the skull. It was labelled "ME".
While I generally seem to have a better image of myself, relative to my actual appearance than most people do, and I've worked pretty hard to just not worry very much about my weight, I do have "fat days," when I feel like a grotesque mountain of lipids. Recently--probably due to a combination of this horrific weather coinciding with that time of the month--I've been on a streak of those days. This morning I realized that I only had one pair of clean shorts and they were a size smaller than I really wear and the last couple of times I've tried to wear them, they wouldn't button. Feeling like a glutton for punishment, I pulled them on. They fit just fine. Despite which, I still felt enormous all day. But at least I could tell myself with authority that it was all in my head.
While I generally seem to have a better image of myself, relative to my actual appearance than most people do, and I've worked pretty hard to just not worry very much about my weight, I do have "fat days," when I feel like a grotesque mountain of lipids. Recently--probably due to a combination of this horrific weather coinciding with that time of the month--I've been on a streak of those days. This morning I realized that I only had one pair of clean shorts and they were a size smaller than I really wear and the last couple of times I've tried to wear them, they wouldn't button. Feeling like a glutton for punishment, I pulled them on. They fit just fine. Despite which, I still felt enormous all day. But at least I could tell myself with authority that it was all in my head.
