Walk in the Glow of Each Other's Majestic Presence

Many of you have probably heard this story. It's one of my favorites. It's about saying no.

( So this one time, at Fenway... )

Ever since then, we use the phrase "Orangina Moment" to mean "I'm about to ask you a favor and the only reason I dare to ask is because I trust that if you don't want to do it, you will say so." The next time you drink Orangina, then, toast to lasting friendships that have a healthy respect for the word "no".

My best friend is really cool. He's a microbiologist, internationaly renowned amateur pastry chef, and--since I suggested that he start writing up the reviews of shows he was giving me every night over the phone--rock critic. I think he's a lot of fun to read--you can check out his "little reviews" if you're interested. He's become quite a presence on the local rock scene and yesterday one of the bands he likes took the time to say nice things about him on their website, which is making him blush. That's so cute that I thought I would pass it along and let more people know just what a nifty dude he is.

bookly is the recipient of a National Science Foundation fellowship. This is a huge big deal--a bunch of money to further her doctoral studies in linguistics and recognition of what a brilliant and dedicated scholar she is.

Congratulations, bookly!

For those of you following the ongoing story of my former housemate, Lori Berenson's imprisonment in Peru, here's an article about her most recent appeal failing:

http://www.salon.com/news/wire/2004/12/02/peru/index_np.html

And for those of you who would like to make known your annoyance over the networks' refusal to carry the UCC's ad, here's an online petition you might like to sign:

http://www.workingforchange.com/activism/petition.cfm?itemid=18182

bookly is another person whom I've known for what seems like forever. Frequently mistaken for another sister, she is sweet and charming and stubborn as all hell. She has pursued a general interest in language through several careers and countries to a doctoral program in linguistics, always working hard to learn more. She is incredibly intelligent and insightful and one of the best actors with whom I have had the privilege of working. She is an intrepid traveller and is willing to push herself to get to where she wants to go. She is an excellent friend and puts up with incredible amounts of garbage from people she knows. She is very gentle and one of the easiest people to be around that I've ever known. Underneath her placid exterior lurks a sly and subtle sense of humor that lights up her eyes and beautiful smile. The one drawback to bookly is that she has no idea how cool she is and spends far too much time second-guessing herself and apologizing for who she is and what she wants, but she's working on that. I am so thrilled to have her home again that I do little dances of joy whenever she says she's coming over. That's how cool she is.

jmspencer is a man of surprising and significant talent. He has a gorgeous singing voice, is a very fine actor in both comic and dramatic roles, and a perceptive and creative designer. I've heard of other skills and look forward to seeing him put them in action. He is also a good friend--sharing his ups and downs with his pals and being there with hugs and whatever help he can give when they are down. I hear he's also a good kisser. He has a huge amount of love to give and a sweet shyness that's surprising in such an extrovert. He's a snuggly guy, who gives good hugs and backrubs. He is energetic and eager to be part of whatever's going on, even when that means a lot of work. He wants things done right, but is also able to adapt to circumstances to make something happen. He is an entertaining raconteur with a wide variety of experiences that he shares slowly, so that it takes time to realize just how cool he is.

I haven't known jimmystagger for very long, but it has been a treat so far. His child-like glee and joy in simple pleasures is inspiring and watching him play with children makes me wish I were three again. He went from a hanger-on (or rather, hanger-out, perhaps) to an integral part of my last show, coming through when muffyjo had to be elsewhere. When you ask him a favor, he jumps up to do it, and is genuinely happy to help others. His exuberant, confident, loquacious persona conceals a sensitive and deeply caring person. He's been hurt, but he doesn't gloat over his scars, instead using them as motivation to protect others. He has a strong sense of moral outrage and a finely tuned appreciation for the best of just about any kind of music. He is great at including other people in whatever's happening and making sure they're having fun. That his siblings both seem to genuinely like him and enjoy his company demonstrates his real commitment to family. He has a deep respect for women. He always has a story to tell that's interesting, relevant, and funny and his energy lights up the room.

This hasn't been the greatest week in his life, but I know that he's got the internal resources and genuinely caring friends to support him through the current changes. jimmystagger is gonna be okay.

gilana is one of those people that I knew not very well for long enough that she started to feel like a friend, rather than an acquaintance. Over the past few years, we've actually gotten to know each other better and I have really enjoyed that process. She has a great deal of personal grace, which is a rare and charming quality. She has a lovely voice, is an incredible dancer, is developing as an actor, and is a strong performer. She has the personal courage to perform in front of both strangers and--often more intimidating--friends. She is enthusiastic and creative and energetic. She is very responsible, even when she may not get the credit, and has put a huge amount of work and energy into Theatre@First--a project dear to my heart. She has conviction out the wazoo and is willing to do hard and inconvenient things to satisfy those convictions. Over time I have seen her take more control in her life and be more willing to assert herself. This has led to her seeming to live more fully and also to her exposing more of herself, so that I get to appreciate what an interesting, loving and warm person she is. Her background, beliefs and values are quite different from my own, and it is a great thing that we can disagree on issues both fundamental and frivolous without letting that create a gulf between us.

I look forward to continuing to watch gilana develop more fully into herself and hope that our friendship will continue to develop, as well.

I have known dpolicar for so long now that it becomes difficult to know where to begin to tell just how cool he is. He contains multitudes and is happy to open the doors of the congregation to self-examination and peer review. He can argue any side of any question and will cheerfully do so. He is suspicious of the simple solution and the easy answer. The power of his multi-track attention is awe-inspiring. He loves language and the games one can play with it. He has a gift for vivid imagery and has written some very good stuff. While he accepts that it is true, he finds it incomprehensible that many people find him intimidating--he's really a puppy with a very soft tummy. He gives great hugs (and vigorous backrubs) and has never turned me away when I needed one. He knows who I am and scatters breadcrumbs to help me find my way back to myself when I get lost in the woods, without ever demanding that I maintain a static persona for him. My ongoing conversation with him contains many of the best things I have ever said and some of the most interesting things I have ever thought. He is extremely loyal and committed. Failure to communicate grieves him deeply. He is a creative and courageous cook and always makes too much food and seems to love few things better than feeding the hordes. Watching him and the dog play together is a replenishing joy.

My friendship with dpolicar has lasted for many years as both of us have changed significantly and it is one of the most valued relationships in my life. Recently we did a show together and it was great to work with him again and to see how much his performance skills have deepened since we originally met in college theatre. Experience suggests that we'll be friends for the rest of our lives and I look forward to continuing to refine my model of him while enjoying his stone soups and wolf hugs. I don't really have "brotherly" relationships with people, but dpolicar is definitely family.