Sep. 8th, 2016

lillibet: (Default)
Here is the song that David Wilcox created for me at Hanna's Close on the misty morning of August 19th.

Caught here
Caught in this idea
That I'm catching myself
I see you with your newfound good fortune
And I'm left up on the shelf

I looked at that blessing
I looked at your easy windfall
And I said, like that second-grade teacher,
Did you bring enough to share with all?

How dare you taste the sweetness while I'm bitter?
How dare you taste the life when I'm ashamed?
How dare you find a shortcut when I'm walking alone and feeling estranged?
How dare you find your way home?
How dare you find your way home?

So I feel this politeness
And I feel it in the air
And I feel the way you were frozen
For pretending we don't care
And I feel the way we hold ourselves separate
As if there's no chance for this
To open to the bounty and the beauty of the endless bliss

So I catch myself frozen
I catch myself reacting in fear
There's a bounty happening right over there
But I'm left way over here

And I know it's the same trap
When I'm afraid to say what I've found
Cause I sense there may be anger
That there's not enough to go around

But both of these are fictions
And I know it at the end of my day
When I suddenly have this wisdom
And I hear someone what someone is always saying, saying...

Open if you can
Ally-ally in-free
You're not all alone
Open if you can
The way that leads you home

Home inside of your own story
In the language of your native tongue
Maybe not all can understand it
But it whispers the secrets that you've known
And it silently opens the way that brings you home.

So I know when I'm feeling this jealousy
For the blessing you found yourself in
I know it's just the shadow of the same trap
I so willingly step in.

And I'm ashamed to share my wonder
Cause I'm afraid of those who may hurt
And I know eventually that same trap will slowly turn
And offer me that same deadend
Offer me that same cul-de-sac
Offer me that same way of thinking
That always is the same old trap.

So now I know that my only way through
Is to celebrate the things you do
That the only way to get there is to untie that knot
That keeps me from feeling that I have it, too
I have my own way through.

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