Thick black pencil in hand

[lillibet]

If you haven't followed the link in dpolicar's journal to read one of the funniest court documents of my experience, you should. And to tempt you further, let me offer my favorite excerpt:

Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care laugh in the face of death, life on the razor's edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins.

Comments

[whitebird.livejournal.com]

That was indeed truly funny.

[thatwesguy.livejournal.com]

Please tell me that that spelling of "breifing" did not appear in the original.

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

No, that was a typo, which I have now fixed :)

[gilana]

Despite the continued shortcomings of Plaintiff's supplemental submission, the Court commends Plaintiff for his vastly improved choice of crayon--Brick Red is much easier on the eyes than Goldenrod, and stands out much better amidst the mustard splotched about Plaintiff's briefing. But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig.

Wow. If I ever have to go before a court, I want it to be this one.