Abayance

[lillibet]

This column in the LA Times details some of the experiences one of their reporters had while covering stories in Saudi Arabia. I've read a couple of books by women with similar stories to tell, but this is a nicely written piece.

She writes:
To me, the abaya implied that a woman's body is a distraction and an interruption, a thing that must be hidden from view lest it haul the society into vice and disarray. The simple act of wearing the robe implanted that self-consciousness by osmosis.

I'm reminded of a dream that I once had. I rarely have naked-in-public anxiety dreams and the few I've had all have some kind of twist. In this one, I was visiting an ex, shortly after our breakup, to pick something up. His new girlfriend was hovering in the background as he searched for whatever-it was, and he was leering and making sly comments about my breasts. I realized at that point that I wasn't wearing a shirt. Rather than feeling embarrassed by my nudity, I felt outraged that I couldn't wear whatever I felt like wearing, or not, without him taking it as a sexual come-on. Trust me, I thought, if I were interested in sex, you'd know it.

In the US, I try to be tolerant of other women's choices. Now there's a way to be, my mother will say, when she sees someone dressed in a manner she finds outrageous. Walking through the Cambridgeside Galleria, I see women whose clothing ranges from shorts and tube tops to headscarves and robes. I value the cultural diversity on display and I respect their right to wear whatever they feel comfortable wearing.

But I do find it hard not to take the decision to cover women's bodies to a greater degree than men's bodies as an accusation. If covering your hair is a sign of modesty, then what does that say about my waist-length braid, brazenly displayed? At the same time, is tucking in my shirt a judgment of women with proudly exposed bellybuttons? And to what degree are any of us actually free in our choices?

Comments

[orbitalmechanic.livejournal.com]

Have I already told you about the article I read on Islamic women who chose to wear the veil because it gave them social sanction to take much more freedom? A woman from a conservative family, for instance, who got to go to college because "she's a good girl." Some of those women were getting to do things that women never did, and then ran into white Western feminists who told them that wearing the veil was anti-feminist. It's so hard to translate sometimes.

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you've mentioned it and that's an interesting point. And how is it different from any girl gaining her parents' trust by not dressing in ways they disapprove of? But being "a good girl" is inherently anti-feminist, isn't it? Tricky, tricky.

[marmota.livejournal.com]

I think it was Mark Twain (I'm too lazy to google for it at the moment) who said that clothes make the man as naked people have very little influence on society. However, the issue that comes into play here is "which society"? If I dress in a more managerial fashion for work, my bosses are happy but my coworkers look askance. Even more casual attire appropriate for work loses me cred if I also wear it to go hang out at Diesel after work.

In high school, I would dress one way leaving the house to keep my parents off my back, but ditch the button down shirt and slacks for jeans, concert T and army jacket at the first opportunity, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one then or now that had to appeal to differing sensibilities. When they overlap, compromises get made. *shrug*

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

This is a good illustration of my contention that the world is set up so that women can never really win. It sucks. No matter where you go, what you do, what you say, what you wear, what you look like, how much you weigh, all that stuff...there is always someone out there waiting to judge you and find you wanting, and then happy to extrapolate that judgment to cover all women. Feh.