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lillibetThis blog entry about The Art of the Ask has been making the rounds of my f-list in the past day or so. And it's interesting to me, because it's largely how I live my life and how I encourage people to interact with me.
Yesterday![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
big_jewfro asked if he could ask me a favor and I responded "you can always ask". So he did and I was happy to oblige him and not just because he's cute. It's a rule: You Can Always Ask. It has an important corollary: I Can Always Say No. That's what makes it a favor. Want a ride? Ask me--if it's not inconvenient to me, I'll probably say yes. If it's not convenient, I'll say no. Don't worry, I'm good at it. Want a recipe or advice--oh, how I love to give advice--or to borrow something? Ask me.
There are a few people in my life who get to override this. They get to say "I need you to do this for me." At which point it's not a favor, it's an imperative. They get that right because they extend it in return--if I need something from them, I can say so and they will give it to me, even if it is inconvenient, because I need it. That's what "close friend and family" means to me.
Asking has gotten me a long way. And saying yes when other people have asked has gotten me even further.
The biggest example of what asking has gotten me is Theatre@First. I wanted to do a show with my husband. So I asked if I could have space and I asked people to help and I asked other people to audition and I asked other people to come see it. And I asked other people to help me ask. And you know what? It turns out that those were things that many, many (we just did a count and it's over 300 participants in six years and no-way-to-tell audience members) people were happy to give. Did they get anything in return? Well, I hope so. But I got it because I asked.
So, yeah, the asking thing is really working for me. If you ever want something that's in my power to give, then I encourage you to ask. It's true that I might say no--I reserve that right and I won't even feel guilty about it most of the time--but I might very well say yes. And you can always ask.
Yesterday
big_jewfro asked if he could ask me a favor and I responded "you can always ask". So he did and I was happy to oblige him and not just because he's cute. It's a rule: You Can Always Ask. It has an important corollary: I Can Always Say No. That's what makes it a favor. Want a ride? Ask me--if it's not inconvenient to me, I'll probably say yes. If it's not convenient, I'll say no. Don't worry, I'm good at it. Want a recipe or advice--oh, how I love to give advice--or to borrow something? Ask me. There are a few people in my life who get to override this. They get to say "I need you to do this for me." At which point it's not a favor, it's an imperative. They get that right because they extend it in return--if I need something from them, I can say so and they will give it to me, even if it is inconvenient, because I need it. That's what "close friend and family" means to me.
Asking has gotten me a long way. And saying yes when other people have asked has gotten me even further.
The biggest example of what asking has gotten me is Theatre@First. I wanted to do a show with my husband. So I asked if I could have space and I asked people to help and I asked other people to audition and I asked other people to come see it. And I asked other people to help me ask. And you know what? It turns out that those were things that many, many (we just did a count and it's over 300 participants in six years and no-way-to-tell audience members) people were happy to give. Did they get anything in return? Well, I hope so. But I got it because I asked.
So, yeah, the asking thing is really working for me. If you ever want something that's in my power to give, then I encourage you to ask. It's true that I might say no--I reserve that right and I won't even feel guilty about it most of the time--but I might very well say yes. And you can always ask.
