While there may be similarities in intensity, for me the arrows are pointing in different directions. Conversation might lead to intimacy; intimacy might lead to sex; sex without intimacy has no appeal and sounds dreadfully embarassing and awkward; conversation without intimacy is fine.
In some ways, an intimate conversation is more intimate than sex.
I was going to say that without the qualifier, but on reflection, I am not quite that fanatical. Sex has a much stronger crossing-the-line component than even the most intimate conversation. Well...OK, there are a couple of things that, for me to admit them, would require more trust and be more intimate than having sex. But anyway, my bar for having an intimate conversation is MUCH lower than my bar for having sex (in terms of allowing it with Person X, and in the hypothetical universe where I'm not in a monogamous marriage). But the feeling of intimacy produced by the conversation is usually higher.
Perhaps I should have checked the "totally different experiences" box.
Perhaps I also want to say that conversation is more about creating intimacy and sex is more about expressing intimacy.
I think the answer to your question depends a lot on what you mean by "intimacy." :)
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2010-02-21 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-21 02:07 am (UTC)Everyone's mileage no doubt varies....
Date: 2010-02-21 02:15 am (UTC)Re: Everyone's mileage no doubt varies....
Date: 2010-02-21 02:25 am (UTC)It largely depends on the circumstances.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-21 01:48 pm (UTC)I was going to say that without the qualifier, but on reflection, I am not quite that fanatical. Sex has a much stronger crossing-the-line component than even the most intimate conversation. Well...OK, there are a couple of things that, for me to admit them, would require more trust and be more intimate than having sex. But anyway, my bar for having an intimate conversation is MUCH lower than my bar for having sex (in terms of allowing it with Person X, and in the hypothetical universe where I'm not in a monogamous marriage). But the feeling of intimacy produced by the conversation is usually higher.
Perhaps I should have checked the "totally different experiences" box.
Perhaps I also want to say that conversation is more about creating intimacy and sex is more about expressing intimacy.
I think the answer to your question depends a lot on what you mean by "intimacy." :)