The Book of Love
Feb. 14th, 2005 10:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lillibetOver in his journal, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
infinitehotel asked his readers to tell him about love, in honor of Valentine's Day. This has been kicking around in my head for a while, so I typed it out and liked the result enough to post it behind the cut. I'd also be interested in reading your thoughts on love, if you'd care to comment.
When I was younger I helped with our town's summer pool program, helping little kids "learn" to float. The thing is, there's not much you can do to teach them. Floating is very simple: you just relax and let the water support you. But when you're scared and you've never done it before, not only is that not a particularly helpful explanation, it is absolutely unbelievable. It is frightening and nerve-wracking and it seems like the person trying to support you might just be trying to drown you. And you think Relax? I am relaxing goddammit! when you're actually as stiff as a board or flailing about in panic. Until you actually relax--often at the moment that you've decided to just give up and drown--and let the water support you and...you float. Suddenly the water that was so threatening and uncooperative becomes amniotic and you have taken the first step toward being completely at home in this thicker piece of sky, the step that no one can explain, but only show you by example and support you while you figure it out for yourself. And you say something like I get it! You just relax and let the water support you! with the sense of having discovered something new and profound about the universe. And all the other people floating around you nod and smile.
infinitehotel asked his readers to tell him about love, in honor of Valentine's Day. This has been kicking around in my head for a while, so I typed it out and liked the result enough to post it behind the cut. I'd also be interested in reading your thoughts on love, if you'd care to comment.When I was younger I helped with our town's summer pool program, helping little kids "learn" to float. The thing is, there's not much you can do to teach them. Floating is very simple: you just relax and let the water support you. But when you're scared and you've never done it before, not only is that not a particularly helpful explanation, it is absolutely unbelievable. It is frightening and nerve-wracking and it seems like the person trying to support you might just be trying to drown you. And you think Relax? I am relaxing goddammit! when you're actually as stiff as a board or flailing about in panic. Until you actually relax--often at the moment that you've decided to just give up and drown--and let the water support you and...you float. Suddenly the water that was so threatening and uncooperative becomes amniotic and you have taken the first step toward being completely at home in this thicker piece of sky, the step that no one can explain, but only show you by example and support you while you figure it out for yourself. And you say something like I get it! You just relax and let the water support you! with the sense of having discovered something new and profound about the universe. And all the other people floating around you nod and smile.
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-14 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-17 05:20 am (UTC)I've never really tried to quantify what love means to me. I can think of conditions that I think are or ought to be present in a loving relationship, and conditions that shouldn't. For instance, when I love someone, I feel a profound sense of satisfaction in that person's presence and connections on many levels, but I also want that person to feel free to be away from me when wanted/needed. I want to get what I want, but not at the expense of the other's unhappiness or deprivation.
I think it also means feeling free to be myself, to express my opinions and needs and emotions, and granting/encouraging the same freedom in my loved one. Maybe there's a sense of obligation to each other that forms over time, but also a sense of choosing each other every day.