Define "work"

[lillibet]

Elsewhere, someone was discussing the work that he and his partner are doing to improve/sustain their relationship and someone else commented that if a relationship requires work, then it may not be worth continuing. This led into a discussion of what defines "work," more generally. If you enjoy a process, is it work? If you choose to do something, is it work? Are activities you undertake in pursuit of a hobby work? If you get paid to do something, is that work? If the product of your activity mainly benefits someone else, is that work? What activities do not count as work? What is work?

EDIT: For those of you who enjoy conversations between dpolicar and me as a spectator sport, be sure to check out the comments.

Comments

[dpolicar]

A fine question.

I'd say that to the extent that you're doing it only because you want the results, it's work to that extent. If you'd miss nothing about the activity were the results handed to you, it's pure work. If you'd miss certain aspects of it but not others, it's partially work. If you'd miss the whole thing, it's not work at all.

There are certainly perplexing boundary cases like deciding in retrospect that something that "seemed like work at the time" really wasn't, or vice versa.

Cooking is a funny one for me, in that I sometimes enjoy the experience, and sometimes merely the results, but I'm also aware that if I spend long enough away from it I suffer emotionally. Which to my mind makes it two kinds of work - one gustatory, one therapeutic - as well as, in some aspects, play.

Excerpts from IM, Part I

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

Excerpts from IM, Part 2

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

Re: Excerpts from IM, Part 2

[pekmez.livejournal.com]

Wow. I think very differently about what "hard" and "work" when it comes to engineering-type things: "hard" is when there is a significant chance
of failure because, for example, I'm not sure my skill set can stretch to
coming up with a solution to the problem, and "requires work" is when something takes my particular skill set and some focused effort and time,
but I'm pretty sure I'm going to get it done in the end and be happy with the result. (And the focused effort and time ought not to be too unpleasant, or else it falls into some other category again.) "easy"
is "requires work that is far enough below my skill level that I don't
have to worry about it at all".

I prefer "requires work", or on the easy-enough end of "hard" that the
risk of failure is somewhat low; I hate when "hard" borders on "seems impossible" and yet there we all are bashing along at it and failing.

'course, then there's also when "seems impossible" meets "sudden inspiration" and then you actually have accomplished something that
seemed nearly insurmountable, and that feels great - but I hate the
part of the process of getting there before the sudden inspiration
and feeling doomed.

Excerpts from IM, Part 3

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

Re: Excerpts from IM, Part 3

[muffyjo]

(Spicy brains, indeed! God I love this.)

I hold that "work" is neutral. It needs other words around it to help identify its meaning to the speaker and is not, of itself, defined sufficiently to explain the object it refers to. It's much like "sky" in that it doesn't say that it's overcast or clear, stary or cloud-filled it's an insufficient description for much else than directing someone's attention upward.

But to imply work in the context of a relationship changes the meaning slightly but, I would argue, not enough. I think the question is not whether or not the parties involved are "working" on their relationship but more likely to be are they working on changing one or the other of them in that relationship. I don't think two people should ever be involved in changing one. I think people changing their inner workings is something only achieved by their own efforts. Which is not to say there aren't some wonderful catalysts out there but in the end, it's never "we" who changes, it's "I changed". "We" can only provide constancy, motivation and security the rest is always "I". And if a relationship keeps coming down to two parties trying to change one (even if they both are believing it's the other one) then there is a problem.