Define "work"

[lillibet]

Elsewhere, someone was discussing the work that he and his partner are doing to improve/sustain their relationship and someone else commented that if a relationship requires work, then it may not be worth continuing. This led into a discussion of what defines "work," more generally. If you enjoy a process, is it work? If you choose to do something, is it work? Are activities you undertake in pursuit of a hobby work? If you get paid to do something, is that work? If the product of your activity mainly benefits someone else, is that work? What activities do not count as work? What is work?

EDIT: For those of you who enjoy conversations between dpolicar and me as a spectator sport, be sure to check out the comments.

Comments

continued thoughts, now that I'm not at work

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

Work, job, whatever...the place where I'm paid to show up and perform tasks. ;-)

If you enjoy a process, is it work? If you choose to do something, is it work? Are activities you undertake in pursuit of a hobby work? If you get paid to do something, is that work? If the product of your activity mainly benefits someone else, is that work? What activities do not count as work? What is work?

To continue from my last post: I think all of those count as work. "Work" is a very expansive word. Words such as "job" and "chore," as you and Dave noted above, are more nuanced. I think "work" is, fundamentally, effort you undertake in pursuit of a goal. That goal could be building furniture because you like building furniture. It could be tasks you are paid by an employer to perform. In relationship terms, it could be such diverse things as hashing out problems between partners, regardless of whether you reconcile or split; it could be a periodic checking in, even when things seem fine, in order to make sure things actually are fine; it could be purposeful talks about life and relationship goals; it could be making sure you do fun and different things with your partner to make sure you don't fall into a rut; or it could be doing whatever it takes to have children even if that's just having a lot of sex. :-} Some of those are more enjoyable than others, some may be more necessary than others, some may be chosen and some not, but it's still all work in my book.

So, in a relationship, if you find yourself, on balance, expending more effort on the unpleasant or unrewarding kind of work than on the pleasant or rewarding kind, that would be the time to consider whether the relationship is worth maintaining. Because, you know, relationships are not supposed to suck. (There's an interesting book called Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay that's great for helping one figure out what can be worked on in a relationship and when there's probably not much point in trying.)