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[personal profile] lillibet
The Are You Ready to Be a Parent? quiz is actually not a bad checklist.

Date: 2008-11-18 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kissoflife.livejournal.com
This is of course also quite skewed toward partnered parenting. Support network considerations are included, but I'd like to see some treatment of 'have you thought through how you would handle it if suddenly or intentionally you came to be the primary caregiver'

Date: 2008-11-18 10:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lillibet.livejournal.com
Good point. I became aware of how important that is after dating two guys in quick succession whose fathers had both died when the boys were two years old. The difference in their own stability and happiness correlated pretty directly with their mothers' acceptance of the situation, or lack thereof.

Date: 2008-11-18 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kissoflife.livejournal.com
Can you point to factors & behaviors in the two scenarios that were pivotal? Offer any items to the list? *grin* Inquiring, still-single minds would like to know.

Date: 2008-11-19 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lillibet.livejournal.com
Basically, it boils down to expectations. Dave's dad died of a heart attack and his mother passed along to him the sense that his father was an ideal husband and father whose example he could never equal and that life was deeply unfair for having left her alone to cope with single parenthood. Rob's mom never married his dad, didn't even have much of a relationship with him, from what I gather, and seems never to have planned on anything other than single parenthood. Guess which one is a better adjusted adult!

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