What's in a name

[lillibet]

Most of you know that I've used many different names over the years. I switched back to my full middle name, Elizabeth, after college and have stuck with that ever since. There are still people who call me other things and I never correct them--I understand that, especially for people who don't see me very often--it's hard to think of me by a name they never used.

But recently several people have started using nicknames for me again...and I find that I hate it. I'm really resenting that they don't call me by the name I choose. If they would ask, I do have a one-syllable nickname that I don't mind at all. But they don't. They just pick one of the common ones.

Even more odd, I find that I am loathe to say anything to them. This is not like me--as many of you can attest, I'm not one to suffer in silence. But it seems especially rejecting, somehow, to say "Please don't call me that."

I wonder which of these discomforts I will transcend.

Comments

[hotpoint.livejournal.com]

I like kathrynt's suggested method -- a gentle reminder that doesn't directly accuse the speaker of offending you, while letting them know so that they do not continue to set your teeth on edge.

I changed What I Am Called when I was 11 and moving between states, so only my relatives had to adjust; I believe my parents helped smooth it over with them. My only other nickname has been my surname, which a) was my online ID in undergrad, and b) didn't have a social name-space collision the way my first name did.

I agree that it's difficult to think of someone by a name you've never used with them, and I've occasionally found myself in a situation where I'm talking with someone about a mutual friend and we have different names for that friend. It's interesting performing a translation of a name every time as I speak it.